Day 17

The scale has begun to move again! I didn’t share with you guys that it did go back up a few pounds last week, so I’m still right around that 5 lbs mark, but there’s movement. I’ll take it. It’s getting easier and easier to just hang in there and keep going. I am 100% confident that this will work. Five pounds in two and a half weeks is still nothing to sneeze at and at some point my body will recognize this new normal and it’ll all just start melting off. I just keep reminding myself that it took time for my body to get here and it’ll take time to get down to where I want to be. 

My senior year in college, I completed a survey for a classmate for her psychology thesis on body image. I remember there were a few questions on there asking if you’ve ever had thoughts of cutting off parts of your body, like your stomach, thighs, etc. And at a size 2, I couldn’t imagine what the deal was with that question. But now, I really wish there was some magic wand that could just lop off my belly. I actually made an appointment at a local “body contouring” place, thinking that the cost of getting the fat sucked out would probably equal the cost of a few months of Nutrisystem. And how great would it be to have it happen so fast, so easily, and with very minimal effort. But I didn’t go. I didn’t even cancel, I just no showed. I’m not quite ready yet to be “that person” the surgically alters their body. But my lord, is it ever tempting. 

And so onward we go, chugging happily along. I’m not miserable. In fact, I’m really loving how easy it is to just grab a package from the freezer or pantry for my meals. The challenge is eating when I don’t feel like it. I know I’m supposed to eat everything on the plan, but it’s a lot. I mean, it’s less than 1200 calories, but it’s frequent. I feel like I’m always eating. 

I have to admit that I’ve skipped many of my last snacks of the day. Mid-way through Day 17, I have 10 breakfasts, 10 lunches, and 11 dinners left (since there are flex meals still to have as well). But snacks? I have 14. When I started this I never would have told you that I would have trouble getting through all my snacks. I’m learning a lot about myself on this journey and I can’t wait until the results are visible. There’s really nothing more motivating than people commenting on weight loss. What does that say about me and my need for external validation? Not sure. That self-examination is for another day.