Still Not Day One - Part Two

Alright alright alright! Freezer meals have arrived. I’m not quite organized yet, but wanted to share my stash. The top pantry shelf is my first week, Turbo TakeOff. The rest… well I’ll need to figure out how to space things out and organize it all. No doubt a spreadsheet will be involved.

Still Not Day One

I got a notification email on Wednesday that my Nutrisystem package had shipped and was to arrive yesterday! Hooray! 

Alas, I was stuck at work and, worried about my frozen foods melting (despite my chat with support that assured me frozen meals would be package in Styrofoam with dry ice), asked my amazing husband to get home as soon as he could to put things in the freezer. 

But when I got home, I was distraught to find that things were missing and there were things I didn’t order. Plenty of literature was included, but nothing telling me what I needed to know. Luckily my liberal arts education gave me the critical thinking skills to figure it out. 

Week One is what they call “Turbo TakeOff” and the foods I so carefully chose are for weeks 2, 3, and 4. Chuck had carefully laid everything out on the counter for me, separated by meal type and put the items he felt should be frozen in the freezer. Nutrisystem also kindly color codes the labels by breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack.

So I took an inventory. The packing slip didn’t include everything that arrived, and not everything on it looked even remotely familiar to what I’d ordered. So, I concluded that the items on the packing slip were for the Turbo TakeOff week. I separated out these Turbo TakeOff meals (although nowhere in my literature or the website told me I was correct) and marked off which of my custom menu for the remainder of the month had arrived on the order confirmation I’d printed off. Very curious that not all of my frozen items arrived. Well, further research on the NutriSystem website told me that the items Chuck put in the freezer did not actually need to be frozen. Hooray! This means that only my frozen items are missing and must be coming later. 

The only hiccup I can see at this point is that I’m missing a Turbo TakeOff Chicken Noodle Soup lunch and have an extra Chili with Beans dinner. A quick and easy online chat with a NutriSystem counselor assures me that this substitute will not derail the program. The OCD in me is a bit skeptical, but I will soldier on. 

Further inspection of my Gmail account (which I can’t access from my work computer, so it’s frequently neglected) indicated that another package had shipped and is scheduled to arrive today. Logging into my NutriSystem account, it now shows two options: “Track Package” and “Track Frozen Package.” So I was correct. Thank you Scripps College for giving me these critical thinking skills. 

I take you through all this not because I feel you, my friends and family, need to know every single step of my crazy thought process, but in case I experience major success and one of you decides to try NutriSystem, I want you to know that you’re not alone in the lack of guidance and information from the company. 

Even though I have everything I need to start my Week One (minus a Chicken Noodle Soup), today is still not Day One. But to be honest, before I got home yesterday and discovered all this, I had already decided today would not be Day One. Now, whether these are just excuses or components of a legit strategy, I can’t tell. I’m not that self-aware. But here they are: 

1. Who starts anything on a Friday? 
2. My sister will be in town on Saturday and it would be a bummer to eat out of a box while she eats something delicious. Plus wouldn't that be rude as a hostess? 
3. Chuck and I had planned a sushi date for Saturday night before I knew this stuff would be arriving. 

And so my friends, few of you that even have this blog address yet, I commit to you that I will start on Sunday, October 1, 2017. Seems like a good day right? Beginning of a week and beginning of a month. And plenty of time to mentally prepare. I can do this you guys. 

Height: 5’5” 
Weight: 185lbs 
Gender: Female 
Short term goal: 150lbs 
Longer term goal: 130lbs 
Weight Loss So Far: 0lbs (but that’s okay, because I haven’t started yet)

And so it begins...

I have to do something. I have this belly you see. Of course you can see. You can’t miss it. I have to get rid of it. It’s making me miserable and, to be frank, putting stress on my marriage. 

The most successful I’ve ever been at losing weight was using Weight Watchers. My office at the time had this amazing cafeteria with a fish option at lunch every day. I know, you’re thinking I could just bring some fish and brown rice with asparagus for lunch at my new job. But no. I don’t know what it is. I’ve brought a healthy lunch again and again and I just don’t eat it. Even when it’s the most delicious leftovers you could imagine.

So I thought and I thought and I recalled when I did this mail order three day juice cleanse. Sounds miserable right? Well, I’m not here to get into that. The bottom line is that I lost absolutely no weight, BUT I stuck to it religiously and it wasn’t that hard. Why? Because I knew that “this” is what I was to have for breakfast and “this” is what I was to drink as a snack, etc etc throughout the day. 

And then I remembered this woman in my office at my college internship who was doing Jenny Craig. And I remember her saying “I don’t have time to count points, I don’t have time to count carbs or calories. Just give me a box and I’ll eat it.” This, I’ve decided, is for me. 

So off I went (to the internet) to find something that would work for me. I’m an extreme introvert, so I’m not signing up for any meetings or on-site weigh ins, or any of that crap. Just give me a bunch of boxes and a schedule. 

Yes, preservatives. Yes, probably sodium. But we’re in damage control mode here people. Nothing will work if you don’t do it. And I’ve tried various things involving meal prep and fresh ingredients and I DON’T DO IT. 

So Nutrisystem it is. I have signed up. I was given the option to customize my menu or go with the “fan favorites” box. Lazy as I clearly am about this process, I initially thought to go with the favorites so I could get this whole process out of the way. But then I saw it on one of the sample days. A hamburger. That can’t be good, I thought. No cheese, otherwise it would be a CHEESEburger. And it’s a weight loss situation so there can’t be any special sauce or bacon to speak of either. That’s it. 

I chose to customize my menu. I was a little bummed that “customize your menu” just meant choosing which of the many meal items you wanted for breakfasts, lunches, snacks, and dinners and in what quantities. I’m the kind of person that could eat the same thing every single day about be happy. If it’s delicious. So guessing what I would want to eat for the next month was a little tough, not having sampled the merchandise. But I soldiered on. Perhaps next month I’ll have a better sense of what’s delicious and get a good rotation going. 

The website really gave very little information about how this works. I assume literature will arrive with my 28 days’ worth of food. If not, I might have to (gasp) do more research. 

So that’s it. Day 1. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and I can’t even start for 4-10 business days while I wait for my food to arrive. But such is the plight of the online shopper. I can’t decide whether to bucket list these next few days with bacon cheeseburgers, burritos, and pizza, or to let my system ease into the extreme lack of calories it is about to be subjected to. My lunch craving today was a kale Cesar salad from my favorite place near work. Bad as Cesar dressing, Parmesan cheese and croutons no doubt are for you, I feel like at least the kale part at least provides vitamins, minerals and fiber. Oh and I added shrimp for protein. Yes, I know, cholesterol. But I love shrimp. I’m obviously not here avoiding criticism. 

So here we are. Day 1. Actually, more like somewhere between Day -4 to -10 depending on the order processing and shipping times. Nevertheless, I’m going to share some stats with you that I’ve not shared with anyone but the Weight Watchers app, the NutriSystem online questionnaire, and yes, even the liposuction appointment request form. 

Height: 5’5” 
Weight: 185lbs 
Gender: Female 
Short term goal: 150lbs 
Longer term goal: 130lbs